Article: Off the record.

"If Washington is a Hollywood for ugly people, Hollywood is a Washington for the simpleminded."

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)

"Bin Laden has called for the destruction of America, opposition to the war in the Middle East and labels our government an evil crusader. Oh, that's not bin Laden. I'm sorry That was the president of France."

Jay Leno

"The federal government said today if you're caught outside near the explosion of a radioactive bomb, do not panic. Lie down on the ground and cover your head and if you can stay in this position for 14.2 million years, you'll be fine."

Jay Leno

"France and Germany say they're still ...

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