Article: Great instructions: Do the kids listen?(VARIETY)(BACKFENCE)

Byline: James Lileks; Staff Writer

Set-up: Odd sentences only a parent would say. Let's go, shall we? From Melissa:

"Don't run with a sword in your pants!"

Good advice for any age!

Yesterday, Toddler started waving a stick around, proclaiming "I'm a pirate." (Why children are universally drawn to these romanticized archetypes of brigandry and violence I've no idea.) We told her that she should not stab people. Don't fence in the house, dear.

"I'm a good pirate!"

"Meaning, what? Mommy and Daddy are bad pirates to deserve to be ... run through with a wooden dowel?"

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