Article: Saturday Food: Bland on the Banks; TAPAS ON THE SHORES OF LOCH LOMOND SOUNDS PERFECT, BUT THE FOOD WAS JUST A SPAIN.(Features)

RIGHT, that's it, folks -from now on I'm going to choose my dining mates much more carefully.

Lunch with Ciaran on the Bonnie Banks of Loch Lomond was, frankly, a nightmare.

Not only did he talk complete gibberish for most of the afternoon, but he also insisted on playing with the food on his plate and -oh dear, how embarrassing -he even managed to drop his cutlery on the floor at least a couple of times.

Okay, okay, he's only a two-year-old -but look, I'm sorry, that's no excuse.

Surely it's only good manners to be on your best behaviour ...

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