Article: Bowling shoes? It's the fashion; But why did he buy them? He's filled with buyer regret.(VARIETY)(BACKFENCE)

Byline: James Lileks; Staff Writer

I don't need to ask my wife if these shoes make me look stupid. I know. They are the stupidest shoes I've ever bought. I can't believe the sales clerk didn't follow me out to my car and help me put the keys in the ignition, because anyone stupid enough to buy these shoes was dumb enough to forget how cars actually work nowadays. Y'mean I don't have to crank it? That's a relief. Hey, look! There's a big yellow ball in the sky! Is that the sun? I have a puppy!

Let me describe these shoes as simply as possible. They're bowling shoes. Or rather, they are meant to resemble bowling shoes. Square blunt front, stripes. Not quite a sneaker. ...

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