Article: Fear and plate-loading in Las Vegas: Jay Cutler's otherworldly twice-a-day back routine.(Training)

I just swallowed 40 grams of whey protein, along with six grams of creatine and five grams each of glutamine, HMB and BCAAs, all in a smoothie made of papaya juice, bananas, mangoes and yogurt. I'm in the middle of the devil's desert. Talking statues, marauding pirates and groups of blue men torment me, and I'm being approached by what appears to be a tank with eyes. I struggle to make sense of it all.

The tank, I realize, is Jay Cutler. But what is Cutler the Tank doing in this desert gym rife with giant female impersonators; magicians and inveterate slot jockeys? Why is he sucking oxygen from an air-conditioning duct like a drowning man on a lifeline? And can ...

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