Article: Going out: Eur on a winner hereinner here; EATING OUT: Khukuri Nepalese ESCAPE FROM THE OVERKILL OF EURO 2004 AND MUNCH YOUR WAY THROUGH TAM'S PREMIER EATS THIS MONTH STARTING AT THIS HOT CURRY SHOP.(Features)

Byline: Tam Cowan

YES, folks, it's almost time for the big kick-off. Welcome to Euro 2004. Or, as it will be known by commentators, England 1966.

So, how do we go about avoiding the European Championships?

Well, that's an easy one for all you blokes just invite Berti Vogts to manage your national team. But what about the ladies?

How the hell are you going to cope over the next three weeks?

What about putting up a sign in your front garden that reads: 'F*** the BBCand its licence fee'-and let the detector vans do the rest?

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