Article: CHEER UP! At least today you won't get clubbed by a caveman, die of the plague or be forced into the Navy; MODERN LIFE GETTING YOU DOWN?(Features)

Byline: By BRIAN READE

PETRIFIED of leaving the house in case you're happy-' slapped by a hoodie, a terrorist blows up Tesco or you get caught up in a gangland shooting?

Or maybe you've just opened a bill informing you it will take until 2064 to escape debt, or ruptured your back trying to remove your obese 11-year-old from in front of a TV which is turning him into a foul-mouthed, sex-obsessed psycho.

Are incompetent ministers, impotent police and a clueless immigration service making you pine for the Good Old Days?

If so, you're in need ...

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