Article: Twelve days that shook my true love.

Byline: Keith Waterhouse

ON THE first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me a partridge in apear tree.

On the second day of Christmas, my true love sent to me an urgent note reading:'About that partridge in a pear tree I had delivered to you yesterday. There isno need to mention to anybody that it came from me, otherwise they will allwant oneand partridges do not grow on pear trees. In haste, your true love.' On thethird day of Christmas, my true love said to me: 'You wouldn't by any chancehave had anyone from the Serious Crime Squad snooping round?' I said: 'No, mytrue love, the only callers I have had have been two inspectors from Defra,asking if I'd had any ...

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