Article: In which I become a new mum; After only half an hour in my BMW, Gracie gave an enormous burp. She had been sick on her paw.(Features)

Byline: LIZ JONES'S DIARY

I have lost the will to live. I have had no sleep, not a wink. My house is in uproar and extremely smelly. I have got a puppy. On Saturday at the crack of dawn I put Michael in the BMW, complete with brightly coloured squashy toys, water, chews, a blankie and a tiny collar, and set off for Northamptonshire to collect a puppy from Wiccaweys, a fantastic border collie rescue organisation run by just one, tireless couple. The drive took nearly five hours. When we got there, a small - tiny! - puppy with a black, white and tan face lolloped towards us. She licked Michael's face and he looked away. After meeting all the other rescue collies, ...

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