Article: Splash.

SPLASH is an absolutely idiotic film that has garnered considerable critical and vast popular acclaim. Yet it is a mere steal from and vulgarization of Andersen's immortal "The Little Mermaid," a tragic tale of heartbreaking loveliness. If you haven't read that one lately, do so, and forget this stupid movie.

As a small boy, Allen Bauer takes a boat trip off Cape Cod with his parents and callow brother, Freddie, who is only interested in looking up women's skirts. Allen looks down into the water, sees something beautiful there, and jumps in, but is promptly pulled out. Gazing after the receding boat is the frustrated, sad child mermaid who almost clasped him to ...

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