Article: Heaven, it's one Hell of a place...(News)

SAINT PETER, the ibouncer to beat all ibouncers, has some explaining to do.

There we were, all believing he was keeping a vigil up at the Pearly Gates, stamping the tickets and making sure the riff-raff didn't get in.

And what happens? We find out the Pearly Gates don't exist at all.

Peter has been skiving for all these years on the back of some cock-and- bull story about an imaginary superclub. Probably making a few quid on the side by working the door at the local disco or some gaff in Ibiza.

Pope John Paul II has certainly put the cat ...

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