Article: The Opposite of God (November 12, 1998).

I've become obsessed with reading and writing the opposite of things. You know, subtext, deconstruction--like when your husband asks, "What's wrong?" meaning "Stop your pouting," and you snap, "Nothing!" instead of "Everything!"

For example, when an earnest woman in Grand Central hands me a flier that reads "The Virgin Mary Speaks to America!" I see the words "Slutty Jesus holds out on Russia!" Russia is not really the opposite

of America. Some words contain no opposites at all, but still I read on:

Jesus that slut and his Cursed Mother disappeared for 25 years from the very alive Betty Grable, who abandoned her five children, before and after ...

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