Article: CIGARETTE BRANDS SHOULD HAVE NUMBERS, NOT NAMES.(LOCAL)

Byline: Patrick Lackey

I remember my first cigarette as though it was 42 years ago.

The cigarette was unfiltered. I didn't so much smoke it as eat it. Can't say that I've ever been sicker. All of me regretted being born. Especially my stomach.

Never have I stopped being grateful for becoming so violently ill that hot Kansas day while my parents were away. Why couldn't more people be so lucky?

As we all know, however, life's unfair. I knew a great man who started becoming an alcoholic at age 19, when he sipped his first bourbon. He said his entire body asked the bourbon, ``Where have you been all my life?''

The same man's body ...

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