Article: TAM COWAN PARENTAL GUIDANCE RECOMMENEDED; Group of Death? In Argentina it's just Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.(Tam Cowan)

Byline: TAM COWAN

HEY, Osama, I don't suppose you fancy a lodger?

With the build-up to England's quest for World Cup glory now well under way, spending the next eight months down an Afghan cave suddenly sounds rather appealing.

In my book, it all officially started on Saturday night. That's when a BBC newsreader - yes, folks, a newsreader, not even one of the usual suspects like Motson or Davies - looked straight into the camera and said: "England will need to be at their best to win next year's World Cup ..."

If they'd been drawn in any ...

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