Article: So, do ya think I'm desperate?; As Rod Stewart makes a most unusual declaration of love.

Byline: RICHARD PENDLEBURY

LOS ANGELES, one night late last week. An apparently out of breath gentleman of a certain age (surely too mature for the bottle blonde thatch, the 'open navel' shirt and the noisily pinstriped suit) emerges from a celebrity nightclub.

For once, he is not the focus of paparazzi attention. A few yards ahead of him, a much younger woman of astonishing Amazonian proportions is bathed in the light of the photographer's flashgun.

Her outfit seems to consist of a black Lycra handkerchief and the fringing from a Victorian funeral parlour.

Two corners of the hankie meet in the middle of her back. They appear to be ...

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