Article: Soaked in petrol, Jack's desperate to find a match; John MacLeod.

Byline: JOHN MACLEOD

HOW, precisely, pound sterling11,000 of Labour Party funds in darkest Lanarkshire has gone missing is so muddy a muddle that not a sub-editor in Scotland has managed to stick 'gate' on the end of it.

And, as not a penny of public money seems to be involved, our reaction to the imbroglio might be one of collective yawn.

Come on: dodgy accounting at Motherwell and Wishaw CLP is not 'dominating the political scene in Scotland'.

Correspondents' chatter at the Abbotsford, perhaps; but that is not the same thing. Still less has the affair 'rocked Labour'. That sprawled, squalid Scottish dinosaur could not be rocked if ...

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