Article: These days, we have criminals who refuse to take stuff home.(Columns)(Column)

Byline: Write on by Deb duPont For The Register-Guard

I WANT TO BE a criminal. There are those who will call me rebellious, anti-social and a detriment to the community, but I am being coerced to stoop so low, torn between compliance and depraved behavior, and I must take a stand.

What makes me consider being a scofflaw, sneaking around bushes, trespassing and hiding from police? Me, usually known as a law-abiding citizen?

It's those white plastic bags - and, even worse, the clear ones. I am forced to carry them and am commanded to use them in unnatural ways. In other circumstances, I would be considered perverted.

I arrived one ...

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