Article: Keep your friends close, and your polar bears closer

They are large, in charge and the last thing you want rummaging through your trash.

I am talking about the polar bears, and they are big trouble. Why? Polar bears -- Ursus maritimus -- are angry with us.

They think we're the reason their home -- fifth-graders call it sea ice -- is melting, and they are dying off.

If we aren't careful, that trouble will end up in our subdivisions and garden patches.

I personally blame raccoons, but I am no fifth-grader. What could I possibly know about such raccoon/polar bear warfare?

All I know is someone had better do something about the "polar bears threat" or we all are going to wish we were on that melting ice.

Regardless of who is really ...

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