Article: Brad Pitt, Forcing Us To Volunteer

Brad Pitt! What does he want from us? Save Africa, save New Orleans, save the planet -- but we're not like you, Brad, not as able, so show us. (Show us, but keep in mind our budget.)

Soon he and Angelina Jolie won't even live on Earth, they'll just dangle above it, in a nursery-equipped Gulfstream IV, sort of the way Brandon Routh's Superman prefers to just float, in the stratosphere, listening acutely, compassionately, for trouble down there, and when he hears it, zoom, down he goes. We were always told that this is what the citizens of the future would do: They would have no fixed address. They would go where needed, constantly, selflessly.

It was supposed to be orphans and Darfur and ...

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