Article: Metal menace can't argue way out of a paper towel

Dryers protect the environment.

They save trees from being used for paper towels.

They eliminate paper towel waste.

They are more sanitary to use than paper and help maintain cleaner facilities.

-- A public-restroom electronic hand dryer

Yo, Electronic Hand Dryer, so why you got to be like that? That's right, it's me, your old pal Paper Towel here. See, I finally got around to reading the propaganda you're spreading about me. Apparently, you've been blowing this hot air for a while now, but I've been rather busy. 'Cause, you know, people actually use me.

I can't quite tell, though: Are you being smug or desperate, or some peculiar combination of both? Whatever. Any way you slice it, you're ...

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