Article: The Big Picture: Shopping, even as patriotic act, is torture

I read the other day about the shopping mall of the future. It had a room with a computer. There, they'd scan your photo and store information about your lifestyle, taste and budget.

The computer would digest all that input. Then, up would pop images of you in suggested fashions and accessories available at the mall.

I could go to a mall like that. But it would be on one condition: That the accessories included a ball and chain. It's the only way to get me there.

I hate shopping. What's more, I'm proud of the fact. The last time I was in the mall was to buy an Orange Julius. And if you remember that reference, you're older than you think.

Here's how much I hate shopping: I can't explain ...

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