Article: Shooting pains and bad posture - all for the love of my cars

EMISSIONS: I'M WARNING you now, as I lie crippled in the bed, typing this with one finger, that I am in an even less jolly mood than usual, writes KILIAN DOYLE

Indeed, in my present state, even cracking a smile sends jolts of pain through my body that reduce me to tears. It's all I can do to stop myself from projectile vomiting over the cat.

Fellow sufferers of my particular affliction - the bad back - will understand. They'll be nodding in empathy when I say that, despite being filled with enough drugs to fell Keith Richards, I feel like my spinal cord has been replaced with a length of barbed wire, dipped in sulphuric acid.

While this all sounds very dramatic, the way it happened ...

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