Article: Excuses for skipping church just don't wash

Parodying the excuses people give for not attending church, a pastor wrote in his parish paper a satirical piece called, "Ten Reasons Why I Never Wash," including:

"I was made to wash as a child.

"People who wash are hypocrites . . . they reckon they are cleaner than other people.

"There are so many different kinds of soap, I could never decide which one was right."

The information office of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) in Louisville, Ky., distributed the piece, written by the Rev. Sidney Laing of Dublin, Ireland. It also included these reasons:

"I used to wash, but it got boring so I stopped.

"I still wash on special occasions, like Christmas and Easter.

"None of my ...

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