Article: Captain Moonlight

NO COVER-UP: Bruce Grobbelaar, the Southampton and Zimbabwe goalkeeper, pictured preparing for today's match against Zaire. Grobbelaar has launched defamation proceedings over claims that he took bribes to throw games in the English Premier League. Fifa is reported to be none too happy with the moustache extensions that Bruce has adopted in a bid to keep even more goals out. The pitch may need a bit of work, too. The red triangular accoutrement, by the way, is not a purse, and I should add that Bruce did not take kindly to gentle joshing from reporters about who was pulling his strings. No? Well, I'm a bit bored with Lord Lucan gags. It is, in fact, 50-year-old Mevlut Dogan posing with his ...

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