Article: Pete Doherty assaulted me with a langoustine ; COMMENT

Ever since I've come off the "reality" show that I was kept prisoner on for six weeks I've found it very difficult to adapt to normal life. The show, Deadline, turned me into a hard-nosed paparazzo and, once you've tasted of the poison, it's almost impossible to kick the habit.

Take yesterday, for example. It should have been a lovely night out at my local pub in the deepest, darkest Cotswolds. Sadly, it was far from it. The problem is that the Cotswolds are crammed with the very people that I spent many a long night stalking up in the Big Smoke. Down here, it's like shooting fish in a barrel.

Weirdly, I actually have shot fish in a barrel. It was for my first aborted programme when I ...

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