Article: THE HEART OF THE MATTER ON VALENTINE'S DAY, THE SIZE OF YOUR HEART IS A MEASUREMENT OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE

The Fancy Red Satin Heart is the size of a manhole cover. Maybe bigger. Three pounds of chocolates and butter bones sit inside. Enough chocolates and butter bones to fuel a nuclear submarine on a six-month trip under the polar ice cap. Three pounds. The Fancy Red Satin Heart yells and screams from its spot at the top of the shelf in the front of the drugstore. Here I am! Size of a manhole cover.

I stare with appropriate amazement.

Who buys this thing?

The price is $34.50.

"Are there men," I ask myself, "who arrive at their Valentine's house, walk into the parlor, slam this $34.50 manhole cover on the coffee table, and shout, 'Hey, and you thought I'd forget'? Are there coffee ...

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