Article: Looking good, feeling scared For many gay men, building the perfect body is an obsession -- and the specter of AIDS has only increased the pressure

The skin on his legs is shaved smooth. It stretches over the furrows between his muscles and he could be an anatomy textbook: quadriceps, gluteus, hamstrings, soleus, gastrocnemius. They are legs with the look and feel of a pink boulder on a Provincetown beach, washed clean and sanded to perfection.

You wouldn't know it to look at him, but Greg Cloutier, 30, personal trainer and bodybuilder, was an asthmatic kid who always sat out of gym class in school, an aspen of a boy with a willow walk, teased by everyone. Faggot. You skinny little fag. Even before he knew he was gay, they seemed to know. Even before he knew to like himself, they seemed to hate. Their words were like needles, and his ...

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