Article: Bang, Bang, Bling, Bling, Blah, Blah; No Fun in the Sun On This 'South Beach'

"Nothing from nothing leaves nothing," Billy Preston sang long ago. Tonight, the puny UPN network inadvertently proves that nothing plus nothing can add up to less than nothing -- Exhibit A being the vacuous "South Beach," a preposterous and pretentious drama series set in what one character calls the "alternate pastel universe" of modern Miami.

In addition to being the sum of two zeros, "South Beach" is an attempt to combine "Miami Vice" with "Baywatch," offering viewers pleasing sights of the shore -- most of them nubile nymphs in teeny bikinis -- plus the occasional gun battle or fistfight. It's the

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