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WHAT'S THAT WAILIN'?

NEW COLUMN!

Hey! Hey, kids! What's that wailin'? Shit, is that a baby? Did one'a you brats have a gol-danged 'nother baby again? Which one'a you was it this time? Piper? Willow? Oh, hell, you know I can't stay mad for long-every baby's a miracle, after all! Pass that li'l chitlin over here, will you? Hello, li'l baby. I'm your cousin-mama, but you can just call me "mama" for short when the reporters come around. Your name will be Toothbrush Manson Otterback Palin.

Listen up, you guys: I know that last year I tol' you to have as many babies as you want, on account of we get a big fat check from the oil company for every one of you li'l blessin's, but the deal's done changed. That creepy old ...

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